The 4th Level Of Love

I thought being a marriage counselor would be a great career, but actually it was awful! It wasn’t dynamic enough for me. I hate to admit it, but I often found my clients boring. Sometimes I had to fight sleep while listening to their very serious personal problems. Imagine going to your marriage counselor and pouring your heart out about your deepest most intimate fears, seeking answers to life’s most critical problems and you look up and he is nodding off drool dripping from his chin. That was me.

Ironically my training as a marriage counselor was the best thing, professionally speaking, that ever happened to me, especially the intimate supervision sessions I had with my mentors. I have to say that I learned more about human nature during that time of my life than any other. In fact, though I ultimately decided that a career as a marriage therapist was not for me, I continue to use the skills, knowledge, and principles I developed in that most wonderful training every single day in my ministry as I am with people literally from cradle to grave. That kind of training ought to be standard for everyone entering ministry.  I will always remember with great appreciation my teachers and mentors, Delores Friesen, Al Dueck, Les Lucas, Ken Jenzen, and my beloved colleague Jackie Church.

I can’t say that I am the wisest person in the world but among people I know I am up there around the 98^th percentile. You see, a truly wise person is humble. I will admit, I don’t know everything about human nature and I have a lot of growing to do. That admission is, in its self, an earmark of wisdom.

I never fall asleep helping people negotiate life’s difficulties now. In fact I lay awake praying for them, questioning how I can help, asking myself what information I can offer, and wondering if they feel my love.

How are you doing in the wisdom department? They say that wisdom takes a long time to acquire, but I’m not so sure about that. Many people I know are in the upper register of the wisdom continuum.

May I ask you a personal question? Are those important decisions that you are making truly wise? How would you know?

I love you — Bryan

 The right temporoparietal junction (near the surface of the brain above and behind the right ear) has long been known to be a “spiritual” area of the brain. But recently researchers have been able to manipulate it, using magnets, to alter the moral judgments made by people, as reported on NPR yesterday.

What’s the big deal? Morality seems to be related to brain chemistry.

 That is huge! History, tradition and religion tell us that morality is a choice we make based on what we know to be right or wrong. But researchers have shown that we can manipulate brain chemistry AND moral judgments. The point is that morality may have to do more with your brain chemistry than character, ethics, love, law, religion or…even God! That is huge!

I didn’t need a study to tell me this. I have observed individuals for a long time now and rather than labeling them debaucherous reprobates I simple observe that they have “a screw loose,” which I hasten to add is not a negative judgment on their personhood (Lord forbid!) but, as I said, a simple observation that their behavior must be affected by brain chemistry. Besides that one can not go around calling people “debaucherous reprobates” for obvious reasons.

Of course I don’t have any such phenomena occurring in MY brain. My mother-in-law would concur that nothing of significance is happening there (lol).

Here are two serious points. 1) We need to keep abreast of brain studies especially when they relate to spirituality, religion and God. This could affect our spirituality profoundly. I believe that science will help us better understand religion and spirituality. 2) We would do well to heed what Jesus said about judging people. You can’t judge what is going on inside their heads. We have to have a better way to judge and relate to people whose behavior does not match our narrow view of right. More than that, we really need to focus on the causes of our own behavior!

When you think about this the implications for society is huge, not to mention the implications for intimate relationships like marriage. Stay tuned.

Now you know why your spouse does the things they do. It’s the “loose screw” syndrome.

I love you – Bryan

Here is the link to Jesus’ saying about judging others. http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%207:1-5&version=NIV

Here is the link to the NPR story http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=125304448

The Millionaire Christian group started several months ago. Don’t you just love the name? It is almost an oxymoron. One would not necessarily associate the word Christian with the word Millionaire. Last night it was just Sam and I. I learned long ago that such meetings, where the rest of the group is unable to attend and, thus, logically should be postponed, but somehow it is not postponed, is often a divine appointment. Sure enough…it was as if our meeting together was arranged for just the two of us.

 One of my inner struggles has been how to reconcile being an ordained minister (with all that goes with that professionally and in terms of my own sense of identity) and being a business owner and, dare I say it, a… salesman. Our family owns a real estate business and in the last few months my job there has been to sell real estate. I have had difficulty reconciling the ministry and real estate sales for a variety of reasons, which are not important for this brief blog today.

 In preparation for our Millionaire Christian group I picked up Og Mandino’s book “The World’s Greatest Salesman.” That book has been around a million years and I read it back when Moses and I were just getting started in ministry (Well, maybe not that long ago.) but had forgotten about it. Recently my son Benjamin (the CEO of a RE firm in Oregon) told me he was reading it, so I picked it up, my way of connecting with him.

 I read the first few chapters and then I read the last chapter. The nature of the book demands that you read so far and stop. So I flipped to the last chapter to see how it all comes together.  There it was… as plain as day… the connection I have been looking for, how ministry and sales go hand in hand. EPIPHANY!! There is no differentiation between the two!  What a huge insight for me. More about that later.

 Mandino writes about the necessity of developing new habits to replace old bad habits and his method is so challenging that I’m thinking that less than 5% of his readers actually follow through. Nevertheless just about every reader would agree that these are habits worth developing. One idea that he promulgates is the idea of giving away half of what you earn! Imagine what good could be done if Christian Millionaires gave half away!

 It started a brain storm of ideas about habits; refusing to engage in drama, delaying personal gratification, always thinking good thoughts about people, stopping critical negative thoughts and actions, stop using alcohol, practicing persistence, seeing God everywhere in everyone, and so on.

 The Greatest Salesman is an exceedingly small book that suggests a practice that takes a long time. Isn’t funny how that works. Inculcating new habits and principles that are articulated in a few words takes a long time to master. The rewards, though, are immense!

 What old habit will you replace? What new habit will you replace it with?

 I love you – Bryan Martin

It is almost Half Dome Hiking season. Weather permitting the cables will go up next month and intrepid hikers will march the 8+ miles from Happy Isles in Yosemite Valley to the granite perch on top of Half Dome. I hike it at least one a year not for my health but just to see and hear nature scream Siobhan-like the glories of God. My very molecules are penetrated and become one with the mist of the falls, the scent of the Ponderosas, the feast of the Sierra vistas to the extent that I have to restrain my voice in wanting to shout and scream the incredible shekinah glory of God in nature. 

That’s way I don’t have any trouble understanding what Jesus means when he says “If they keep quiet, the stones will cry out,” as he explains to the religious leaders the crowd’s unorthodox display of praise for Jesus. It is simply, sometimes you just have to praise God, regardless. 

Regardless indeed, for while the crowd is going wild in Woodstock like celebration, history and Jesus know that death is crouching ready to pounce on Him and his parade with bloody cruel inevitability. But like Vice President Biden’s recent obscenity slip, rocks will screams “f” that reality; there exist a greater reality, one that overrides every evil intention of human beings, a reality of cosmic proportion that cannot be ignored and must be praised with Pentecostal enthusiasm, “O HALLELUAH!” 

Have you noticed how many of the victims of recent calamities are so grateful? It defies logic. Here they are, just back from burying the dead, working to remove the rubble, wondering about their next meal, yet humbly grateful. Are they delusional? Has the tragedy polluted their brain chemistry?

 Perhaps they know what the rocks know.

 Many have been assaulted recently with death, divorce, financial hardship, depression (even my own extended family); that little candle has been flickering in a storm of pernicious chaos. Yet in spite of it all I can hear the vibration of string like molecules screaming forth just under the range of human hearing, but louder than the bang of creation. It is the same “noise” I hear on my Half Dome hike, the same sounds the crowd made on Palm Sunday.

 We may as well join in the singing… if we don’t the rocks will.

I love you- Bryan

About today’s blog. Today’s blog is written in preparation for my Sunday presentation (sermon). Sunday is “Palm Sunday” and the Gospel lesson is found at Luke 19:28-40. Join us Sunday. For more information go to http://st-pats.com.

Crystal Bowersox is Joplinesk but she is no Janice Joplin. She is the standout contestant on American Idol in an otherwise boring season. Watching Idol this year is a little like going to church (except mine); you can pretty much expect what you are going to get.

What made Joplin so incredible was the way she put herself into it. She was a ball of pure passion. The problem with Joplin, or Morrison, or Hendrix was that you couldn’t tell what was drug induced and what was genius. Nevertheless they rocked. Crystal has that potential; none of the other contestants do, with the possible exception of Michael Lynche. The thing is potential won’t change the world and I am not satisfied.

 Which begs the question; How do I “rock my world?”

 If you live in a third world country then ordinary American has got to be fabulous. But with everything that has been given to us, being ordinary is totally selfish. How is being like everybody else going to make a difference in the world?

 I’m not talking about having a big old honking piercing in the middle of your forehead. I’m not even talking about being the reincarnation of Elvis.

 What I am talking about is living life to the nth degree. And I hope that you are not satisfied.

 Helen Keller captured that spirit when she said “I do not want the peace which passeth understanding, I want the understanding which bringeth peace.” She was not referring to bringing peace to her own heart and life, but bringing it to others. Ordinary is looking for personal peace, world changers bring peace to others.

 That is the problem with most people; they are so preoccupied with the drama of their own life that they can’t participate in the cosmic drama of bringing peace and love to the world.

Here is the refrain of the Idol contestants who will go home; “I just want to have fun.” Which is, of course a totally “It’s all about me” perspective. Here is the refrain of the contestant’s who rock; “I’m listening to the judges, bringing it from deep within, and rocking the world.” Which is all about growing and making an impact in the world.

 So which would you rather be, Crystal Bowersox or Janice Joplin? Joplin is dead, she has no potential. Bowersox is moldable, can grow and change. Bowersox can rock the world, but only if she is not satisfied.

 Ordinary is nice and comfortable but ultimately boring and selfish. Rocking your world demands a lot more than you can give. Which do you chose?

 I love you – Bryan

 Who do you know that is not satisfied and rocks the world? I’d like to know.

“Being the Master of Other’s Drama…and Your Own” was the title of my presentation Sunday. Apparently most of the people I know should have been there. Even if I do say so my self it was quite excellent. One quote I used has been floating around in my head. I want to share it with you

“Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.” Og Mandino 

Mandino is an inspirational author of many books including “The Greatest Salesman in the World,” which is still a best seller having sold over 40 million books. My son Benjamin reminded me of Mandino recently.

The Greatest Salesman… contains ten scrolls, each one a principle. Let me list them for you here.

Scroll 1: Today I begin a new life.

Scroll 2: I will greet this day with love in my heart.

Scroll 3: I will persist until I succeed.

Scroll 4: I am nature’s greatest miracle.

Scroll 5: I will live this day as if is my last.

Scroll 6: Today I will be master of my emotions.

Scroll 7: I will laugh at the world

Scroll 8: Today I will multiply my value a hundredfold

Scroll 9: I will act now, I will act now, I will act now

Scroll 10: I will pray for guidance.

The idea of treating everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight is new to me. With so much drama all around it is easy to want to slap them back to reality! Jesus never did that, though (sigh). As I found out he guarded the dignity of those around him… as if they were going to die by midnight. Ironically, he was the one doing the dying, yet he was kind and understanding. Hummm? It is probably a good thing I am not the Christ, it probably would have turned out differently.

Today I will extend care, kindness and understanding with no thought of reward. I invite you to join me.

I love you – Bryan

p.s. Let’s read that book together.

When the hospice nurse called saying that it looked like Jennifer’s brother John was actively dying we were surprised. There were plans to transfer him to convalescent care…not dying.

What was really odd was that the afternoon before I received a frantic phone call from a distressed sister looking for a minister to officiate her 25 year old brother’s funeral. They had no money, literally had to beg for funds for a cremation and ask me to officiate pro bono.

So when I stopped by to see John at the hospice on Saturday morning on my way to this other young man’s funeral I was taken back. John’s breathing was already well into Cheyne-Stokes breathing when I arrived and he was very near death. I loved on family members and then left to oversee the funeral for the family of the 25 year old man in an outlying community.

It was the most unusual funeral experience. Held in the back yard with a make shift alter and few well worn patio furniture chairs I gathered the motley crew and conducted the funeral for a 25 year old boy/man for a group of complete strangers next to an algae green swimming pool. I was probably the only Bible that most of those people had ever read. While I was there and back in Fresno John passed away.

Surrealistic is about the closest word I can think of to describe the experiences and even that doesn’t come close. Un-expectantly attending to two grieving families (including my wife and her parents) on a day that was supposed to be just another working Saturday was… weird.

That other family (boy I could tell you long stories about that family!) was appreciative of my services. Our family is continuing to process our grief and loss… I think we are doing okay.

You never know. You just never know. Nevertheless, God is near.

I love you – Bryan

Let the love of God flow through your heart to your world.

Fart is a funny word. Whenever the word is spoken publically it is accompanied by chuckles and laughter. That is because everybody understands the uncomfortable and embarrassing nature of farts. More politely we talk about gas, trapped gas, indigestion, lactose intolerance and other natural phenomenon associated with flatulence.  

 A brain fart is that uncomfortable experience when unpleasant and embarrassing thoughts and words slip out of our mouth, or the bloating uneasy feeling or mood that occasionally sets in and is not easily “passed.” This is a common experience among people; nevertheless, our stinking thinking and the actions associated with brain farts can be rather offensive to others and us.

 Grandma use to say “better on the outside than on the inside” regarding regular farts. But I’m not sure that is true of brain farts. Wouldn’t it be great if all we had to do was lift our cheek and silently let the brain fart go, hoping no one would notice. But it seems like our brain farts are “smelled” by everyone.

 May I remind you about what Sonja Lyubomirsky has written in her classic book “The How of Happiness?” You can only control “up to” 40% of the factors that affect your happiness. Negatively that means that you can not control 60% of the factors that affect your happiness. My dear beloved it is no wonder why you have frequent brain farts; you don’t have complete control!

 This is a HUGE point simply because you BELIEVE that you are in control of your life. The reality is you control only about 40%.

 Let me add to this odoriferous dilemma. There exists beneath your consciousness a realm of thought that is largely unknown. This system of nearly conscious awareness is working and churning, much like your digestive system, taking information and experience, like food (food for thought) and trying to process it. This is all happening just beyond your awareness and control. It is here where I believe all brain farts come from. This realm must be at least 60% beyond your full control also.

 So what do you do with those crazy thoughts we refer to as brain farts?

1)      Probably the most important thing you can do is to not be in denial about your brain fart. If you are brain farting own it.

2)      Light a candle. What I mean about lighting a candle is try not to be offensive to the people around you. If you are going to brain fart be kind to the people around you. Your brain fart is not their problem… well it shouldn’t be anyway.

3)      Go for a walk. That’s right; a little walking will help you process your stuff. Plus it will get you away from the intense focus of your situation and expose you to a more pleasant reality.

4)      Control your diet. I know this is a preventative measure, but even in the midst of your episode you need to feed your brain good wholesome food.

5)      Talk it through. Another perspective just might relieve the problem completely.

6)      Do something fun. Watch a funny movie, go to the dog park, play with the kids. Don’t just sit an suffer with your trapped brain fart.

 Brain farts aren’t fatal, they are just stinky. Everyone has brain farts and guess what…you are human too. The Bible has a good cure for brain farts. You’ll find it in Philippians 4:8; Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

 It like what my mother used to always say, “This, too, shall pass.”

 I love you and I hope you feel better soon – Bryan

He speaks to them in French, one of several languages that are spoken in Burundi. I’ll bet it will take you more than a few minutes to find Burundi on the map. It is a tiny nation with huge problems. What was your guess? Caribbean? East Asia?
 
The poverty there is unfathomable. The average annual wage is $323.00, that’s less than $1 a day! Most people are subsistence farmers; they grow and eat their own crops… weather permitting… or they starve. Infant and child mortality rates are grievously high. Burundi is fortunate among regional nations, only less than 15% has HIV/AIDs (Yikes!) Figure it out yet?
 
The speaker said that he and his wife and the two missionaries from South Africa are the only white faces wherever they go in this former Belgium colony. Burundi has had about five years of peace since the bloody Hutu Tutsi massacres. This land locked east African nation has 8.5 million people and is one of the poorest nations in the world. And you know what? If Burundi were to fall of the earth most the world wouldn’t know about it and would even care.
 
I guess that is why the speaker was so intriguing to me. He was a man of the world, born and raised in America, spent twelve years living and working in France, was well educated, and now is training pastors (the local leaders with the most influence in Burundi), teaching basic medical interventions (many medical problems there are easy fixes) and providing agricultural education.
 
This man leads an interesting life!
 
He was recruiting local leaders here to go with him for short terms, a few weeks or so, to help him teach. Frankly the last place in the world I want to go is Burundi. But I loved his passion, his drive, and especially the worthiness of his cause.
 
Frankly, again, most people will never experience that depth and quality of living.
 
Closer to home Dana Wilkie is living large. She runs the Community Food Bank, the group that I helped distribute food to families in Selma a few weekends ago. Here is another impressive life. Talk about passion. Dana was on the news recently. She is passionate, has a worthy cause, and struggles daily to help real people with real needs. She lives large.
 
I’m telling you about these people (you’ve probably never even heard of them before) not because they are “salt of the earth” (they are) but because they are living examples of how we can help people and live meaningful giving back lives.
 
I am not suggesting you move to Africa or give up all your worldly possession and help feed the poor in our area. I am suggesting that your life would be fuller and richer if you sacrificed a little and gave back some of that which you have so abundantly received.
 
It doesn’t take much but it can make all the difference in the world for you and your neighbor.
 
I love you-Bryan Martin 

This prayer is attributed to St. Patrick, although it probably originated sometime after him. It is full of Trinitarian theology, an earmark of Patrick’s faith,  and it portrays the difficulty of his apostolic mission; he had opposition from many corners as you will read. Sometimes it read like a prayer and at other times it comes across like an affirmation. Patrick is honored today by Christianity as the first Christian missionary to cross multiple cultural barriers and whose movement is largely responsible for the propagation of western civilization.
 
He is also an inspiration to the aging boomer population as he didn’t begin his ministry until late in life… at the ripe old age of 48… ancient by 4th and 5th century standards.

(The Deer’s Cry)

I arise today through a mighty strength,
the invocation of the Trinity,
through belief in the Threeness,
through confession of the Oneness towards the Creator of Creation.

I arise today through the strength of Christ with His Baptism,
through the strength of His Crucifixion with His Burial,
through the strength of His Resurrection with His Ascension,
through the strength of His descent for the Judgment of Doom.

I arise today through the strength of the love of Cherubim in obedience of Angels,
in the service of the Archangels,
in hope of resurrection to meet with reward,
in prayers of Patriarchs,
in predictions of Prophets,
in preachings of Apostles,
in faiths of Confessors,
in innocence of Holy Virgins,
in deeds of righteous men.

I arise today, through the strength of Heaven:
light of Sun,
brilliance of Moon,
splendour of Fire,
speed of Lightning,
swiftness of Wind,
depth of Sea,
stability of Earth,
firmness of Rock.

I arise today, through God’s strength to pilot me:
God’s might to uphold me,
God’s wisdom to guide me,
God’s eye to look before me,
God’s ear to hear me,
God’s word to speak for me,
God’s hand to guard me,
God’s way to lie before me,
God’s shield to protect me,
God’s host to secure me:
against snares of devils,
against temptations of vices,
against inclinations of nature,
against everyone who shall wish me ill,
afar and anear,
alone and in a crowd.

I summon today all these powers between me (and these evils):
against every cruel and merciless power that may oppose my body and my soul,
against incantations of false prophets,
against black laws of heathenry,
against false laws of heretics,
against craft of idolatry,
against spells of women [any witch] and smiths and wizards,
against every knowledge that endangers man’s body and soul.

Christ to protect me today against poison,
against burning,
against drowning,
against wounding,
so that there may come abundance of reward.

Christ with me,
Christ before me,
Christ behind me,
Christ in me, Christ beneath me,
Christ above me,
Christ on my right,
Christ on my left,
Christ where I lie,
Christ where I sit,
Christ where I arise,

Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of every man who speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me.

I arise today through a mighty strength,
the invocation of the Trinity,
through belief in the Threeness,

through confession of the Oneness
towards the Creator of creation.

Salvation is of the Lord.
Salvation is of the Lord.
Salvation is of Christ.

May Thy Salvation, O Lord, be ever with us.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day, I love you — Bryan Martin

Love your neighbor – Help One