13 Ways to Help Your Depressed Friend
- You have to understand and be convinced, more than anything else, that depression is a brain chemistry problem and not a matter of choice or a moral issue. It is a disease just like diabetes or heart problems. Nobody wants to be depressed.
- You must be empathic because depression actually hurts much like a broken bone, it is painful, so be caring.
- Be hopeful because depression is one of the most treatable diseases.
- One of the best treatments is cognitive behavioral therapy. Help your friend find a competent cognitive behavioral therapist. Seeing a MD might help too.
- Reading and focusing attention can be very difficult for people suffering depression, nevertheless refer them to positive hopeful books. I found portions of David Burn’s Feeling Good to be excellent, especially the sections on common cognitive distortions and thought records.
- Share your stories of hope. I have had two episodes of major depression; one when I was a teen ager and another in my thirties. I learned a lot about depression then, but I’m still afraid when I have two or three down days in a row. But 98% of my days are totally awesome now!
- LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. The more love you pour out on your depressed friend the better they feel. Hug them, kiss them, and tell them good things.
- Tell them to actively fight the depression and keep moving forward. Climbing out of the pit is hard work.
- I think King David is a good example of a coping with depression. He had major mood swings and deep depressive episodes. Jesus struggled with emotional issues too. In fact some Presidents, major leaders and extremely successful people have struggled with depression. It just kind of normalizes depression to realize that.
- Take your depressed friend out on a date to the movies, to coffee, help them get out and live a little. It’s better than sitting at home alone.
- Depression is the root of a lot of problems. Alcohol masks depressions, for instance. I just think that is interesting and helps me understand people better.
- Don’t expect your depressed friend to respond the “right” way. Remember, depression is a brain disease. Everything up there is not firing on all six cylinders so be patient.
- Keep praying for your depressed friends. Your love, prayers, and friendship are the best medicines. Healing is just around the corner.
I love you-Bryan
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hi…thank you for posting this list. i suffer from a brain disease and depression is one sliver of it. i elected to join a christian church on my own when i was a teenager hoping that i would find people who would be accepting of my illness (which unfortunately introduces itself before i ever get a chance to). i have for so long been the victim of stereotypes, isolation, and intolerance and i expected church to be a shelter from that. i could not have been more wrong. i attended weekly services and became very involved in a number of groups, but every time i asked to be a part of a leadership committee within one of those groups, i was denied simply because of my illness. i love that you said that brain diseases (including depression) are diseases just like diabetes–and no one would ever deny a diabetic a leadership role based on his/her condition. the end of my story is that i was verbally abused by both the pastor and assistant pastor at this church and i have since left their body and now consider myself to be spiritual/Buddhist but definitely not religious.
it is really heartwarming for me to hear of peole like you who are in a position of influence and yet still recognize that the struggles of people with mental handicaps are very real and not something anyone should be afraid of or cast judgment upon. believe me, if i could take a pill to cure my illness, i would. i don’t wake up in the morning and ask for an unhealthy body–but it is the only body i have so i do my best to live fully within it.
please, please, please continue to spread this message. personally, i face tremendous discrimination on a daily basis and it is hard to find any sort of refuge. mind you, i’m a very successful professional with normal relationships, a great driving record, talents, and hobbies, and roof over my head to boot. i am in no way “crazy” or “out of it”–just very sick, continually seeking advanced treatment, and perpetually seeking unconditional love.
thank you for this post.
respectfully,
gabrielle
gabrielle
June 24, 2011 at 6:50 pm