The 4th Level Of Love

Dear Nora, Ruth, Rebecca and William,

 Let me introduce myself. I am Bryan Lee Martin. I am your great grand father. Although I am not exactly sure what your names will be and your parents are still small children I want you to know that I am thinking about you and that I am working to make your world a pleasant and safe place for you to live, grow a family (if you wish) and help the generations that will follow you.

 Last week I was at a business planning conference during which I heard the speaker briefly and in passing say that one of the earmark characteristics of spirituality is giving back. Although I have been a religious person for nearly four decades it was one of those “Aha” moments for me.

 The speaker related life to four specific areas and he drew a four sided box, each side representing a specific area. The left side was economic aspects of life, the top was love and relationships, the right side was health and the bottom, that is the foundation, was spirituality. He stated that spirituality was not merely religion but that, for him, it is characterized by giving back. Jesus stated this by saying, “To whom much is given, much is required.”

 Part of the legacy that you have received is the spirituality of love. Like the speaker I see huge problems with organized religion; that is why I chose to lead an independent congregation. This gave me the opportunity to emphasis love, God’s love, loving others as you love your self. This legacy of love is an incredible gift, because most people just don’t understand the primacy and importance of love. They chase after all kinds of things, which in the end are meaningless.

 You, my beloved grandchildren to be, have the wonderful gift of love to give to the world. My prayer, hope and desire is that you creatively pursue sharing that gift of love with the world. I know that there are so many ways to do this, everything from preaching about love to your world, to giving to tangible needs in the world.

 I write you this letter in the Christmas season of 2009. Our world needs to hear and experience love now and I am sure that your world will need to hear it too. Since this love has been so freely given to you and because you are part of a great loving family it is incumbent upon you to give back the love you have received.

 There is much benefit, by the way, in giving back, for Jesus also said, “Give and it will be given back to you.” Your life will be full and satisfying when you follow this precept.

 Beloved Children, we are thinking about you and praying for you even before you are conceived. I look forward to meeting you, if that is possible, but remember, my love is already in you.

 I love you – Bryan Martin

Dear Jadon, Kelly, Joseph and Lauren,

 Wasn’t the Mahler Symphony exciting last night! It is amazing that Dr. Loewenheim was able to get all those young people together. They were as good as a professional symphony! It was great!

 I especially enjoyed the third movement. Mahler used some Jewish folk music and I like that unique sound. But the last movement was loud and exciting. Those crashing cymbals were like thunder. CRASH! BANG! CLANG!

 Besides the music it was fun to see all the people. Wow, that was a big crowd. Did you see anybody you know?

 I thought it was cool that Gramie and Kelly got to go back stage and say hello to Dr. Loewenheim after the concert.  Next time he comes to our house all of us can tell him what a joy the concert was.

 Music is such an important part of life. Mahler’s symphony shows us just how creative we can be with sounds and how those sounds affect us. Since we are in the Christmas season let’s sing every Christmas song we know and learn new ones. My favorite Christmas song is Joy to the World.

 Since God gave us such wonderful gifts, like music, let’s make sure that we use music the best we can. A song is more than creative expression; it can make a person feel so much better. With a song you can even feel God’s love.

 Thanks for going to the symphony with Gramie and me!

 I love you – Papa Bryan Martin

You’re at a funeral, let’s say, and the minister says, “Here lies John Smith who was known by all for his…” Now stop. What would you expect the minister to say next? It would be about the most important aspects of Smith’s life, right?

Now let’s imagine it is YOUR funeral. The minister stands there and says, “Here lies YOUR NAME who was known by all for….” What do you want the minister to say?

Option #1 Known for worrying constantly about money.

Option #2 Known for always struggling with relationships.

Option #3 Known for having a negative attitude about everything.

Option #4 Known for always having an excuse

Or these…

Option #5 Giving back more than ever received.

Option #6 Loved and was loved even when it was hard.

Option #7 Saw the good, the possible and God’s hand even in tragedy.

Option #8 Always gave a hand.

 You and I have been thrust in the holiday season and I don’t know about you but I’m already behind. Do you realize that Christmas is in just a few days! OMG! My biggest problem is my attitude.

 Yesterday I was reminded about the spirituality of giving back. Friend, beloved, you and I have been blessed beyond measure compared to our brothers and sisters in dark and terrible times. We have a lot to give back!

 So I am asking you to join me in eliminating Options 1-4. GET RID OF THEM COMPLETELY! Let’s adopt Options 5-8 as our mantra throughout the Holiday season. I am going to remind you that the very Spirit of God lives inside you to empower you to do exceedingly beyond anything you think or imagine. Therefore we can give back like there is no tomorrow! We can love in the face of hostility. We can see the hand of God working even in the worst of times and we can always give a hand to those who need.

 Think especially about the children. Model for them exactly how to behave in the Christmas season. Show them what to do by your actions and your teachings.

 Pretend that you are never going to die and that people will say about you when they pass you on the street “There goes John Smith… now that’s a person who gives back, loves unconditionally, always sees the good, and is there to help. What a guy!”

 I love you- Bryan Martin

You don’t have to have kids to be a parent. Yes, living with kids makes you have a vested interest, but it is the role of everybody to make sure our parenting goal is achieved.
 
What is the goal of parenting? If you think that it is just to get them out of the house by the time their are eighteen, then you just failed the parenting test. If you think it is to successfully launch them into adulthood, they your goal is short sighted, If you think that the goal of parenting to empower them to make the world a better place, then your getting closer. And if you think the goal of parenting is to create a world of possibilities and hope for generations to come, then now were talking.
 
I think you goal for parenting (and every adult with or without children of their own is engaged in this goal) is to see that future generations are capable of creating and using tools to help save the world. Our kids should get the equivalent of a PhD in their unique way of contributing. Our goal is to help them discover and use their unique gifts and talents not just to survive but to thrive. Our goal is the same goal that God has for them, to be everything God intended for them. Anything less is not acceptable.
 
Too lofty? It certainly does challenge the way we think about parenting.
 
The main problem with parenting is that parents are distracted by their own developmental issues and cultural imperatives. I guess that is two issues, isn’t it? Maybe not.
 
We were programmed, that is enculturated, to believe that we have certain tasks we must do; get a career, have fun, make money, be somebody and we spend a lot of time on those issues for ourselves. Those items were imposed on us by our culture. Face it… how many of you thought that you would spend you life creating and nurturing future generations? That was not on the scope.
 
I’m putting it there. And I’m calling your quest for other things “selfish.” While you try to figure out what to do with your life you have these little people scurrying around soaking up everything they can get their hands on and you think “Can’t I get a little time for myself?” Dude… its not about you…. but that is what you were raised to believe. Sorry.
 
It’s about doing what you were made for…. to pass it on…. to make it better.
 
Here’s some good news. Parenting is the best thing you could every do in your life. More fun, excitement, gratification, meaning and purpose than you ever thought possible. Even better than drinking beer!
 
Congratulation! You have the most important job in the world. Good luck. I’ll be praying for you. And I have more to share with you later.
 
Here is your spiritual exercise for today: Assume that your parents did a great job with you. What more could they have done for you that would have really put you into a great place? And what, specifically is that place? Can you do it for your kids and kids around you?
 
I love you – Bryan Martin

Day 10: My first post after Thanksgiving

 I feel like I’m gushing with stuff to write about today. This long weekend came to a glorious end last night with our long drive home from visiting Ben, Emily, Emma 8 and Brody 4 in Eugene OR. We took three of our grandsons, Jadon, 9, Kelly 7, and Joe 7.

 Imagine traveling 11 hours in the car with those three boys!

 It turned out to be a real eye opener for me. I was reminded about the gift I have and what I need to share with the world.

 I am not an engineer so I can’t design a space ship to take future generations to safety in an extrasolar galaxy. But what I can do is to empower future generations with my love. I can train them by model and precept…. and here is the thing… so can you.

 I can help you too. That is the precept part. I realized that I have so much to share with them and you about relationships (if you haven’t read our book yet you need to, because Jennifer and I really did create something special with it), about parenting (Jennifer and I use to teach a course called Parents Are Lovers, but more than that our parenting experience with our four kid was practically perfect! The only thing we miss was that we didn’t have more kids! And now I can’t get Jennifer to cooperate and have more. Joanna isn’t too excited about the idea of have a little sister 30+ years younger than she is!) and about spirituality (I’m not talking about religion or being Catholic or Protestant or Buddhist… I’m talking about discovering your divine purpose in life and doing it!)

 So I can help you with relationships, parenting and spirituality and I can help future generations to by just doing it now and telling for the future in my writings.

 This is all very exciting for me. I feel pumped up and recharged… and that after driving 11 hours home yesterday with the boys.

 Let me close today with this. The boys started to get restless they last few hours, so I created a game. They had to hum the first few lines of their favorite Christmas song and the others had to guess the name of the song and then sing it. So for the last leg of our long trek we sang Christmas songs. When we forgot the words we had to make up new ones. That distraction transformed our restless trio into a trio-boys choir. It was great, it worked and it was fun.

 It helped me remember what my gifts are.

 Here are your spiritual exercises today.

 #1 Sing your top five Christmas songs all day long. If you forget the words make some up. Print out the lyrics and memorize them. Share them with your friends. Send me your list so I can sing them with you.

 #2 Along with that list write down what your gifts and strengths are. Don’t know your gifts? Let me help you find out. Email me at bryanleemartin@gmail.com.

 #3 My favorite Christmas song ends with the word “love’ can you guess what it is?

 I love you – Bryan Martin