Amorvia Extrasolar

 I wish you could have been there, but, for your sake, I’m glad you weren’t and I hope you never have to be there. I was sitting in Dennis and Billy Jean’s family room as she described those agonizing last minutes when they turned off their daughter’s respirator.

Jeannie was just 26, the mother of two small children, Roger Fitzpatrick’s young wife of four years, and Dennis and Billie Jean’s youngest child, their only daughter.

It was an incredible experience being with and listening to Billie Jean as she told how she held Jeannie’s hand when they removed the breathing machine. They watched and hoped for a miracle. But the life in her slipped away. In a few minutes… she was gone. Billie Jean was still holding her frail cold hand.

In the telling Billie Jean gave me her mother’s pain and I held it. It was an awesome and wrenching moment. I wish you could have been there… I’m glad, for your sake that you weren’t.

What am I going to tell them? What will the preacher say in the face of such a loss and pain? I know… I know exactly.

What I won’t say or do is sugar coat the loss with saccharine platitudes and syrupy theology about how God orchestrated the whole event for the good of all. NO WAY!

What I will tell is how good life is, as fragile as it is, yet what a wonderful gift life is….even if it is only for a few years.

I will tell all the beautiful aspects of Jeannie’s life; how she was loved by her family, the precious bond she had with her father, the playfulness she enjoyed with her brother, the intimacy she shared with her husband, the joy of birthing two new lives into the world.

I will tell of all of her health struggles her whole life long and how she overcame moments of desperation with her focus on her babies.

I will tell that in our Western world view her death was wrong, that her parents were suppose to go first and it was she who was suppose to hold her mother’s hand at the end… but that is merely our Western world view… not everyone in our world is so fortunate.

In fact many are like Jeannie and die too young.

What will I say? What hope will I bring. Actually I need not say much. The gift of Jeannie’s live will speak for itself. Her children will be and are our hope.

Jeannie was in my Confirmation Class at the Cross Church back in the 90’s. She memorized the Ten Commandments, knew the teachings of Jesus, and confessed her faith to an entire congregation. She knew God and is in the loving arms of God today. This is some consolation.

But the lesson of Jeannie’s young life is this; the few years that you and I are given on this fragile planet are but a few. It is not the length of them that matters most, although I wish you many. It is what you do with what you have.

Jeannie’s life was more difficult and shorter than most. She struggled and yet she found real life in the love of her childhood home, her marriage, and in giving life and love to her children.

The only question that remains is how will you use the gift of your life for the remaining days that you have? Hold my hand and let us live it together.

I love you – Bryan

The mornings are a little darker these days. Running around Woodward Park definitely requires a head lamp. I am surprised about how many people are walking, running and riding at 5:30 a.m. Last Saturday morning Jennifer and I got started early on our eight mile walk and by the time we passed the half way point there were crowds of people on the pathway. Incredible!
 
Running this morning I was passed by two women who were energetically talking while they ran. I wondered how they could talk and run at that pace. I can barely think let alone utter anything other than a grunt or moan. Then another group of the three passed me; two men and a woman. They were all decked out in fancy running apparel. I’m wearing an old pair of gym shorts and my favorite Yosemite tee shirt. Man! They look good… and fast too.
 
Soon a whole group of people passed me. I am wondering who in their right minds are up this early to run? Then I remember I am one of them… just not as fast or fashionable.
 
Finally a man pushing a walker and oxygen tank passed me.
 
No… not really. It just seemed like it.

Why is everyone passing me? Okay… I’m not spring chicken out there, but still… I know that the Two City One and a Half Marathon is happening in November so I’m sure there are a lot of folks getting ready for that. Nevertheless I wonder what’s wrong with me?
 
Did you ever wonder that? Why are so many people passing you by?
 
What’s wrong? What’s wrong is that there aren’t more people out there. What’s wrong is that too many people are not taking care of the greatest gift they were ever given. What’s wrong is that most people total miss the beauty of the dawn, the early morning planets rising in the east, the darkness giving way to the red hue and finally the sun peaking over the Sierras.
 
What’s wrong we me? Why are they passing me? There are not passing me they are running with me. They have their pace, I have mine. Their regimen provides health for their body, so does mine.
 
I’m so happy to be alive today. To feel and sense, see and hear, experience and be. I’m sooo glad to be able to write this, to think about you, to provide a word of encouragement and hope. 

I’m not the fastest, smartest, the best dressed. I’m not the best blogger, friend, husband (well… I am a pretty dog-gone-good husband). I’m not. Man… people pass by me all the time. But I am out there and I am convinced that what I do… such as it is… makes a difference. And you know what? I believe the same thing for you too!
 
I love you- Bryan

Rose Mapendo was imprisoned with her husband and 7 children in a Congolese Prison for 16 months because of her ethnicity. There her husband, along with many other innocent men, was executed. One night soldiers burst into her courters and attempted to take away her oldest daughter. Ruby and her other children held onto her and refused to let her go even when a gun was put to her head. Not long after her husband’s death she discovered she was pregnant and in the eighth month gave birth to twin boys. Both premature babies had to suck tea from a cloth because Rose’s milk was not enough. They were sickly and on the verge of dying.
 
How’s your day going?
 
An aid worker saw this mother of 9, including two babies near death, and arrange to have her moved to a refugee camp. Then, by a virtual miracle, she was chosen to be airlifted to Phoenix, AZ. Now she is a spokesperson for refugees world wide. Her courage and passion to save her family has inspired millions.
 
Isn’t it ironic that she was taken from the death camps of the Congo to Phoenix? For out of the ashes this brave one rises. More than that, her name, Mapendo, in Swahili, means Great Love.
 
I wanted to tell you her story today because you probably will need to share it with a friend who is going through a difficult time. “Difficult” is a relative term and everyone’s suffering is not the same… but few have suffered like she.
 
May I suggest that you count your blessings today? She how good it is. And then, give someone a hand… pull them out of the ashes with your great love.
 
Hear more about Rose Mapendo at http://www.ted.com/talks/isabel_allende_tells_tales_of_passion.html
 
I love you- Bryan

 I had not seen Bud and Betty for some time when I bumped into them at Whole Foods Sunday morning. The first thing out of Betty’s mouth was, “Are you okay… you are so skinny!”

I feel defensive when people ask that, as if I am ill. Over the course of several years I have lost over 45 pounds because of my renewed interest in health and healing. I trace it back to October of 2001.

After leaving the Cross Church I had a powerful, but quiet spiritual experience. I felt the Small Still Voice within invite me to live a healthier lifestyle. I heeded the Voice and the result is a renewed spirituality and my weight is down and remains consistently at 195 pounds.

I exercise nearly daily with long walks and jogs, and several trips to the gym weekly. I eat well… that is I enjoy a healthy diet. I’m in as good condition as some of those NFL quarterbacks I see on TV… well… I bet I look better at 55 than they will.

I must say that, although they were sitting in a car, Bud and Betty were looking a little pudgy.

What about you? Looking a little pudgy?

I have a friend who is struggling with smoking (not you Chris, Debbie or Jack… geese… you guys are so defensive!). It is really more than a health issue for him. He knows that his kids are watching and are getting the impression that smoking isn’t as bad as “they say.” Which, of course, is not at all what he is trying to communicate.

The problem is the addictive nature of nicotine. It is a really tough drug to kick. But, consequently, the other message (“Smoking isn’t that bad”) is communicated. Wouldn’t it be better if he were to be more public about his struggle and admit that he hates smoking but is hooked on the drug and needs help to get over it. At least, then, the kids would see the struggle, know that smoking is not a virtue but something to be avoided and maybe, maybe not fall into the same trap.

Well… the same thing is true about unhealthy living. I mean being overweight, not getting exercise and living an unhealthy lifestyle. It communicates the same bad things to kids and people around us, “being a couch potato is okay.”

Frankly I would rather hear about your struggles, and failed attempts at Weight Watchers than to see you capitulate to unhealthy leaving. Sure… it’s tough of your ego to struggle with bad lifestyle issues… but what about the message you send with unhealthy living? Besides, it would be better for your ego if you lived a few extra years.

Today renew your focus on healthy living. Control your ego, swallow the pain of possible failure, and begin again your healthy lifestyle… for you and your loved ones. Listen to the Small Still Voice.

I love you-Bryan

How is it that negative thoughts literally take over our minds?

 A flood of negative thinking dominates our thoughts and nearly completely shuts out any ray of hope to the extent that we even question the ones who have loved and cared for us consistently. And this in spite of the fact that our world is relatively stable!

It is a brain thing.

Those emotions are rooted in the most primitive and animal part of our brain, that place where you will find the famous, or infamous, “fight or flee” response. Ironically it exists for our safety. When we feel threatened it is as if a Tyrannosaurus Rex is at our heels and we will fight, tooth and nail, to the bitter end to save our precious self.

I believe this is God’s gift to us as we protect what is most important to us. Nevertheless the anger, frustration and negativity are awful when your emotions are inflamed not by an episode with a man eating dinosaur, but by the ones you love the most. That primitive part of your brain can not distinguish between the two. It is, after all, primitive.

What to do?

God gave you another part of your brain, or should I say “other parts.” These are parts that are uniquely human and involve reason, insight, self-reflection, understanding the thoughts of others, and wisdom. Your brain is fully capable of using these parts also. In fact you can override the primitive functions with these “higher functions.” You just have to be deliberate about them.

But it is not that easy. The Fight and Flee part is associated with brain chemicals that are powerful and long lasting, like adrenaline and others. It is like your brain and your body are on crack.

So here is how to override the effects of your primitive brain.

1) Control your ruminations by distracting yourself with other things, like a football game, or prayer, or reading. The intrusive primitive brain thoughts are persistent and fight for first place, but with discipline and time they will dissipate.

2) Tell your self the positive truth about your life, world, relationships, and love. While you are at it, remind yourself that there are plenty of people worse off than you and that you will be okay.

3) Give yourself time. Your emotional crisis probably won’t last any longer than three days at the most. After that, you’ll probably not even remember what you were so upset about in the first place.

4) Exercise. God’s best stress control is a long run or and hour or two at the gym.

These four things will help your body regain control of the primitive brain functions (which were only meant to be used in an emergency) and time for your higher functions to kick in. You will be able to engage in creative damage control, repair relationships, brainstorm real solutions to real problems and … keep on loving those close to you.

I love you — Bryan

I went “door knocking” yesterday afternoon. Jennifer, my beloved, had an open house and I volunteered to go door to door to invite neighbors to come through the home.

How do you feel about going door to door to talk with perfect strangers?

It was a fascinating experience. In about an hour I made ten or more contacts, that is, I actually got to talk with them. In each case I was treated warmly and courteously. Several people had extended conversations with me about homes and neighbors. More than that I found a potential buyer for the house!

As exciting as all that was there is a basic principle here. People like the opportunity to speak with others about meaningful things, they even like talking with friendly strangers. More than that, talking with people creates opportunities that otherwise would not exist.

This is an important principle in business AND life. We need to actually talk with each other, even if we don’t know each other, to create opportunity and potential.

Why is this important?

Because, you were made a social animal. Your tendency to isolate, either by watching TV or sitting in front a monitor is not only hindering your potential, as in more sales or better friendship, but it is stifling your divine purpose. You can not connect with others effectively, share good news, love, share warmth, have compassion, express emotions, sell a house, or be a human being unless you do it face to face… even in the age of emails, text messaging, Facebook and Twitter. Those tools help or reinforce our relationship and our sales skills, but they are no substitute for face to face interaction.

I use to be terrified about walking up to a door and talking with people. I had to learn a script so that I would know what to say to break the ice. Learning the script took about three minutes. Then nature took its course and normal human interaction happened.

Here is the bottom line. There is a beautiful opportunity for you to connect with another person in a meaningful way today. Who knows what the potential is! Get away from the TV and the monitor and fulfill your divine purpose… share with one another face to face.

I love you, Bryan

On this anniversary of 9/11 let us remember what the world has experience since 2001. This little note is not related to those events… but it was supposed to go out yesterday and a hardware problem kept it from going. I’m thinking that you may need to read this little piece today.

Here something short and sweet for your busy week
 
I think you are practically perfect. I do! Look at what you have done with your life. You are working hard, dreaming dreams, overcoming significant obstacles and you keep on going. I am proud of you! When I think about you I think about all the good things you have done and everything that you still will accomplish. Is there anything that you couldn’t do if you put your mind to it?
 
You are a world changer. Everywhere you go, every person you meet is an opportunity to make a difference. With a word, a touch, a smile, a small act on your part something good happens.
 
You are an overcomer. Sure, you get frustrated and angry, but isn’t that because you care? You get over it, sometimes not as quickly as you like, but you get over it. And you move forward, with a positive attitude and love.
 
Speaking of love; you are a loving person. I like that about you. You are willing to share, even generous. You sacrifice your time, abilities and resources for others and good causes. You even share your deepest thoughts and dreams. Loving and being loved is so important to you.
 
Today may seem like an ordinary day. But it is not. It is your day to express your near perfect nature by enjoying the life you were given, dreaming your dreams, moving forward, and touching someone’s life with your love.
 
Bless you and keep up the good work.
 
I love you – Bryan Martin.

You have more power than you can possibly use in one life time. The only thing the keeps you from realizing it is your own limiting beliefs.

I’m not smart enough

I don’t have the right education

I don’t have enough money

No one will listen to me

It can’t be done

It’s too much work

I don’t know the right people

You just don’t understand the reality of my situation

My DNA is programmed differently

I was in an accident

I’m disabled

I’m a victim

God hates me

I’m too sick

I’m too old

Sound familiar? Here is the truth; you have been programmed to do the most amazing things. You have the ability to change the world. It is in you. All that you have to do is to get it out. And you can!

Most people need help getting it out. When you read the biographies of the great ones you will discover they had help. They had a coach, friends, financial supporters, parents, spouses, teachers, employers, and sometimes, strangers who came along to assist and empower them.

You need help, too. No one can do it on their own. You need to be pushed, stretched, prodded, cajoled, and sometime forced to go beyond what you believe to be your limits.

The greatest feeling in the world is when your body, mind or spirit is pushed beyond its known limits to greater levels of achievement.

But… IT IS NOT ALL ABOUT YOU! The world was not made for your benefit… although you will benefit from it.

The world needs you! It needs your creativity, insight, wisdom, invention, guidance.

HELP!

God placed you here for a reason. But unless you escape the limitations of your own thinking, your box of comfort, you will merely be another consumer, one of the crowd, one of six billion.

Think about what you can do beyond raising your family well and making your millions.

Discover more, be the answer, The Spirit lives within for something far greater than you could ever think of or imagine.

I love you – Bryan