The 4th Level Of Love

Today I’m going to give you something of value that will help you make a difference in people’s lives.

If you want to read the scripture lesson that goes with today’s blog go to http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=mark%206:1-13&version=31

When Jesus sent his disciples by pairs into adjacent communities he had what we would call today a “marketing plan.” It included developing a relationship with the people, offering them something of value, and convincing them to do something, in this case to follow Jesus.

If you have a sales background you have probably heard of F-O-R-D. FORD is a technique for developing a relationship with people quickly and effectively. This is sort of like Jesus telling his disciples to stay in one home, and develop relationships there, and not to move from home to home being superficial. The F in FORD stands for family. When talking with a potential client or someone who needs to hear Good News, asking about their family helps build rapport. Ask me about my family and I’m going to pull out my iphone and show you about 70 pics of my family. I’ll really open up to you.

The O stands for occupation. People will also share openly about their work. Talking about work is safe enough for them to share something even with a relative stranger. It’s a great opening.

The R stands for recreation. Again, the beauty of talking with people about their holiday plans or their bowling league is that you are not asking them about something too personal, but they will open up and tell you about their upcoming trip to New York. It is instant rapport.

Finally is the D which stands for Dreams. If you get people to share their dreams about their life then they are sharing deeply from their hearts and you have won a friend.

But developing rapport and establishing a relationship is just opening the door for the Jesus intervention; giving them something of value that will make a difference in their lives for ever. Do this with G-A-P.

Mind the GAP because it is THE way to bring them hope encouragement and empowerment. You do know that this is what we are supposed to do right? Those disciples of Jesus healed the sick, cast out unclean spirits, and shared the Good News of the Kingdom of God. That is almost exactly what 21st century disciples do; they give life changing, life giving, difference making interventions.

The G stand for Grace. What I’m talking about here is unconditional acceptance of people regardless of their current situation. That lady at the intersection pan handling for a few bucks, for instance, is not one that you would normally interact with. In fact you want to ignore her and never make eye contact! Right? Wrong. You don’t need to give her money; you need to give her GRACE. You don’t think she wants to pan handle do you? Let’s face it; most of the time people like her are desperate. You wouldn’t want to be in her shoes would you? Go ahead, smile at her, and give her a little grace. This may sound crazy to you but your smile could make all the difference for her in that moment. That’s just one random example. Try giving the person you are FORDing some grace, too.

The A stands for ASK. Ask two questions. The first question is “How can I help?” If you want to make a difference just ask how you can help. What’s interesting is that usually you really don’t have to do anything; just asking is enough to make a difference. That’s right, you’ll find that in many cases they would appreciate the help, but you can’t really help, but the fact that you asked touches their heart.

The second question leads to the P; “May I pray with you?” Those five words are life changing. Have you ever had a person that you just met, a person who shows a great deal of interest in you by asking about your family, your work, and your dreams, offer to pray with you? “What kind of person would do this,” you might ask yourselves. “How kind! It’s a little different but heck yes,” you think. The you say “You can pray.” Even if the person says no, what have you lost? Absolutely nothing. But you have gain the respect admiration and love of someone. More than that, you made an indelible impact on them. They go home that night and say to their significant other, “You’ll never guess what happened to me today!”

So that’s how you can make a significant difference in a person’s life with FORD and GAP at Macy’s, at the intersection, in the grocery store, at Starbuck, where ever. You need to try this because there are hundreds of people going crazy with angst who need your gift of love. It won’t cost you a thing. You’ll feel good about actually helping a fellow sojourner, and, who knows, you may have just helped them turn an important corner in life and knowing God.

I love you – Bryan Martin.

“And if any place will not welcome you or listen to you, shake the dust off your feet when you leave, as a testimony against them.”Jesus

Our real estate company teaches people to anticipate the question “Who are you?” especially in new areas. Keller Williams (KW) has a story, in fact there is a script to help people tell the story. In other words we are prepared to share our story when we meet people who do not know us.

We are not only prepared, but we are confident and self assured because we took the time to anticipate their questions about us, understand their objections and rejections, and embed answers in our story before questions are asked.

More than that, we know that a percentage of our audience will reject us outright and that’s okay because we know that sooner or later some will hear the story and be interested in hearing more.

My Christian story is a lot like real estate in that everybody seems interested in spiritual things. There are, of course, many who simply reject the story. Over the years I have collected the rejections and have a good idea about why they reject the story.

The number one reason has to do with a person’s personality style and preference. It has little to do with my story or me, the presenter. They are too direct, too opinionated, too black and white, too busy and preoccupied with what’s on their plate. It is just the way they are! The best I can do for them is to remain confident and love them anyway. This is common and it is no big deal.

The second reason they reject my story is because of their preconceived idea, or their stereotyping behavior. It’s what I call their “a priori” objections.  Classic are those who are on the “right” or the “left.” They refer to our story as too conservative and call our faith story orientation “Bible thumping.” On the other hand if they think our faith story is too liberal they call us “flamers” as in “flaming liberals.” In other words they prejudge us and our story before they know us. These labels help them fit us into their world view. Once again, it is not about us, it is about them and their need to control their thought world. It’s no big deal.

I could give you a lesson on how to approach these two reasons, but here is my advice; just forget about it. Shake the dust of your feet and move on. Here’s the deal; there are just too many people who would benefit from our story of hope and inspiration that we really can’t waste too much time trying to convince skeptics.

Sure, you could, and you could win, but the time you spend on them is time you could better spend caring for someone who really wants to hear. Besides, chances are that if they reject you and your story, that you’re not the right fit for that one, and God has someone else, a better fit for your skeptic.

What’s the bottom line? Share your story of faith, hope and love. A few people won’t, but a lot of people are listening for the foothold you provide.

I love you – Bryan Martin

Today is my daughter Joanna’s birthday. She is 29 again.

Jennifer and I had a bet about the day she would be born. My date was approaching, so in order to facilitate her birth I cheated.

We were swimming at Kaweah Lake and I took very pregnant Jennifer on a floating raft a couple hundred feet off shore and then I pushed her off the raft and made her swim. Now, that sounds worse than it really was. I stayed right with her and she was in no danger… she just had to swim. I just knew that the exercise would send her into labor and I would win the bet. It was fun, we laughed… well… I laughed more than Jennifer, and it didn’t work. Joanna took her sweet time coming into the world and Jennifer won the bet.

God blessed us with four of the best kids anyone could ever ask for, but Joanna was the first and our only daughter. She has been one of the greatest blessings in our lives and she continues to be so. Every once and a while Jennifer, Joanna and I will have special time alone when it just the three of us and none of the boys are around, like the original family. Joanna will smile as say to Jennifer and I, “Here we are… the perfect family.”

I am using her birthday today to encourage you to reach out to your loved ones, tell a good story, and say “I love you.”

Happy Birthday Joanna… I love you