Dream A Little Dream With Me
One of the last chapters in my book “Fun Loving” highlights the importance of couples sharing dreams. It was inspired by famed marriage researcher Dr. John Gottman who said that if couples share some goals in life then their relationship would be more intimate and fulfilling.
I remember watching a video from his lab where a distressed couple was arguing about money. The husband spoke with contempt to his wife about her failure with some money matter. To her credit she made several repair attempts, but they were ignored. Gottman pointed out that the husband had a clear idea, a dream, about how money was to be handled. His anger reflected more about his failure to achieve certain financial dreams than her mishandling one single situation. The failure to achieve his unarticulated hidden dream about life and money made him bitter, angry and hostile.
When people say, “I don’t have any goals” or “I don’t have any big dreams in life” is just smile because I know that there really is something inside there that is pushing them along, or unfortunately and sadly making them feel disappointed about their life because they feel like they haven’t achieved “it.”
Such is the case with many people.
Fortunate are the couples who have found something in life to do together. They have found a ways to play together, be in business together, help others together, create together and share common dreams. Parenting does this for many young couples for a while. Traveling seems to work with some couples for a while too.
The key for dreaming together is not in the dream itself. Dreams vary, die, grow, evolve and other wise change. The key is in the sharing, talking planning, implementing, working through, achieving, and creating new ones.
One of the best ways to dream is to sit down together, each one with a single 8 ½ x 11 sheet of paper divided up into five sections; Family/Friends, Work/Money/Things, Spirituality/Helping, Health/Fitness, Fun/Recreation. In each section write down no more that three bullet points representing what you want in each area. Put a target date next to each item. Now begin to talk together and work together on these dream areas. Guess what; now you are dreaming together.
Don’t live in the misery of regret or perpetual emptiness because your hidden dreams are being repressed. Dreaming never ends and you are never too old, too busy, or too wrapped up in current of life to start dreaming. Every single happy person and couple I know is living their dream. Why not you? You can too! It really isn’t that complicated.
I love you – Bryan Martin
p.s. If you want more insight on dreaming together drop me a line.
I remember watching a video from his lab where a distressed couple was arguing about money. The husband spoke with contempt to his wife about her failure with some money matter. To her credit she made several repair attempts, but they were ignored. Gottman pointed out that the husband had a clear idea, a dream, about how money was to be handled. His anger reflected more about his failure to achieve certain financial dreams than her mishandling one single situation. The failure to achieve his unarticulated hidden dream about life and money made him bitter, angry and hostile.
When people say, “I don’t have any goals” or “I don’t have any big dreams in life” is just smile because I know that there really is something inside there that is pushing them along, or unfortunately and sadly making them feel disappointed about their life because they feel like they haven’t achieved “it.”
Such is the case with many people.
Fortunate are the couples who have found something in life to do together. They have found a ways to play together, be in business together, help others together, create together and share common dreams. Parenting does this for many young couples for a while. Traveling seems to work with some couples for a while too.
The key for dreaming together is not in the dream itself. Dreams vary, die, grow, evolve and other wise change. The key is in the sharing, talking planning, implementing, working through, achieving, and creating new ones.
One of the best ways to dream is to sit down together, each one with a single 8 ½ x 11 sheet of paper divided up into five sections; Family/Friends, Work/Money/Things, Spirituality/Helping, Health/Fitness, Fun/Recreation. In each section write down no more that three bullet points representing what you want in each area. Put a target date next to each item. Now begin to talk together and work together on these dream areas. Guess what; now you are dreaming together.
Don’t live in the misery of regret or perpetual emptiness because your hidden dreams are being repressed. Dreaming never ends and you are never too old, too busy, or too wrapped up in current of life to start dreaming. Every single happy person and couple I know is living their dream. Why not you? You can too! It really isn’t that complicated.
I love you – Bryan Martin
p.s. If you want more insight on dreaming together drop me a line.
